Mission Trip "Changed 2011" Part 7

BreAnna's Journal from Thursday, Jan. 20 :

AM: I woke up missing that little girl at Woliso. My arms seem empty without her in them. It’s hard for me to think about what her life will hold. I need God’s strength to continue having a broken heart.

-I honestly don’t think I can even describe this day. My heart hurts. I have never felt this broken before. The things I have seen today have blown my mind; they have left me angry and an emotional wreck. When I see what I’ve seen today I don’t understand how God can let it all happen? The better question is “HOW CAN I LET IT HAPPEN????”

-This morning we went to CFI again. I can’t believe tomorrow is our last day with them. I’ve gotten attached to their smiles and love. I told the Bible story today. Our leader asked me to do this morning, about 10 minutes before we left, and I was a bit apprehensive about it, but decided to get out of my comfort zone. The translators are amazing! I love how you say a sentence and then the translator says 5 sentences. J We set up a basketball hoop for the kids today, and they loved it. We also got a chance to take the kids down to a field area to play soccer and “duck, duck, goose”.

PM: We took the other basketball hoop out to Kechene. The women there cooked up some amazing popcorn and coffee… I’m going to miss their coffee... I love Ethiopian coffee.

Going out to Kechene is hard though, because it is an especially poor part of town. The beggars and disabled there are legitimate, the stench… a reality, and the hopelessness of that area- overwhelming. My brain and my heart don’t even know what to do with what I see there.

-PM: I am not sure I can write the next part. We had extra donations and decided to stop at the government orphanage, Kebe Tsehai. What I thought would be a quick stop to drop off our stuff, turned out to be a life-changing moment; a moment way harder than anything I have ever seen. The orphanage was fine as far as the building went, but the kids were sleeping in bunk beds all scrunched up together… 2 or 3 to a bed. Some of the beds didn’t even have a mattress, just a board and a thin blanket. The kids gave me hollow stares. Their huge eyes were void of hope or emotion. You could tell they had spent a life void of love and care. They had filthy clothes full of holes; their hair was a mess, their faces dirty. They had no one to give them attention. And just when it couldn’t get harder, it did. We were allowed to go into the nursery. I step into the nursery and the first room had 6 metal cribs with about 12 newborn babies in them. Some of the babies were days old. Half of them were crying. There were 2 nurses taking care of two of the neediest babies. Some of the babies were really small. I could envision Faith in one of the cribs. There was one baby that was about 11 days old and had been abandoned at night outside the hospital. I mean, I’ve heard the stories, but to see the baby, to touch him….how can you walk away? And then, when it couldn’t get harder, it did, again. I more apprehensively opened the door into the next room and my heart instantly shattered. In about 14 cribs lay 33 babies ranging from about 1 month to 14 months. Some of them lay listlessly. Some were bright and alert. Some were malnourished and sick. Half of them were crying. Many were trying to eat a bottle that was laid in the crib with them. That scene was so wrong. You just want to pick up every one of those babies and promise them a home, a future, an embrace. You want to rock them and love them. You ache to give them a family. I spent about 20 minutes with 2 babies making them smile and laugh, offering a little human touch; and then I left. It hurt so bad it didn’t hurt, if that even makes sense? I wanted to start screaming for people to feed them and hold them and take them home. Where are the Christians???? Where have I been???

There was another building with a few of the older kids and then 2 rooms of handicapped kids lying in beds, trapped by their own disabilities. You hope these kids get adopted, but most of them won’t. I hate this and I have no more words for it. How do I go home and go back to “normal” life? What I’ve seen has changed me so much that I am not going to relate to people back home. I had a gut feeling that would happen, and I dreaded it. I’m so thankful for this trip, I am so blessed, but it’s hard thinking about my friends and trying to explain THIS to them.

EVENING: We spent the evening with a missionary family from CA. Their story encouraged me. They are normal people who love Jesus. Once again God reminded me that I have a lot to learn. Afterwards, back at the Guest House, we debriefed as a team.

It has been beautiful to watch God break hearts, and hear all that God has taught each person on the team, but the sharing that touched me most was from one of our translators named Dawitt. He said “My high, for the day, is seeing how each of you has loved my people and my country. I have never seen anyone so touched about what is going on here. We tend to forget that we do need change and we get numb to what we have seen our whole lives. You all have reminded me that there is hope for my country. Thank you for coming all this way to love us.”